Claire is super anxious about going back to school tomorrow. Mike tucked her in under protest while I walked a whopping 2 miles on the treadmill (better than zero miles right?) when I came upstairs to take my Epsom salt bath (no I'm not a geriatric I just feel like one) she was sobbing her eyes out. Had grabbed Kleenex out of the hall bathroom and was wiping her eyes. She'd also grabbed her little pink plastic trash can and placed it on the side of her bed by the wall like we do when she's throwing up sick.
I tried talking to her about it "Why are you scared? Grammy gets to pick you up from aftercare. What do you want in your lunch?" But that didn't seem to help. Which really bothers me by the way - that I still can't rationalize with her. Can you tell I'm a therapist?
I finally just told her she could read for a while until she gets sleepy. That was 45 minutes ago as she's still up. Reading out loud with her finger pointing out the words. I can vividly remember doing this a a kid. I was a voracious reader and would read until late late at night because I couldn't sleep or the book was just to damn interesting. (I mean have you read Little House in the Big Woods lately? It's riveting!!)
I just feel bad for her. I must say she comes by the anxiety issues honestly. I need to have a hard conversation tomorrow at work that I've been dreading since my last day before holiday break.
I've been giving myself diarrhea over it. I just need to bite the bullet and do it. Because once I say it I can't unsay it. And then it's out there and I have to live with it.
You would think I was getting ready to tell someone I had a fatal disease or liked R Kelly's music (negatory on both btw).
It's not even necessarily a 'bad' thing. It's a GREAT thing for me and my family. But I'm so fuggin worried about disappointing other people. And this is a convo I've been putting off way longer than mid December.
I'm freaking out before I even know if I have anything to freak out about. And in college I was notorious for coining the term FOBFO = Freaking Out Before Finding Out. As in "Mary don't FOBFO because your period is twenty minutes late. Why don't we go to Walgreens and buy a test?" Or "Emily, you probably aced that exam. Stop FOBFOing and keep passing the joint." (Puff, puff, give!)
Will someone please tell me to stop FOBFOing. Because its totally a thing.