Friday, February 6, 2009

Life's not fayo.

Things have been pretty dramatic in the Lowder household lately. Full of piss and vinegar...almost literally. We're going gangbusters with this potty training and Claire's been doing very well overall. But I'd be a liar if I didn't admit that we didn't have some big, fat puddles on the floor...especially in the last couple of days. Just tonight she peed so much on the kitchen chairs that it spilled down on the floor and Mike looked over and thought she had spilled her cup of water!

Claire's 'DIVA' personality is really coming through lately too. She's so dramatic. Cindy and I were teasing her this afternoon that she better take us to the Academy Awards when she's nominated for her first Oscar!

One day last week she gave me The Hardest Time getting ready in the morning. She fights me during the entire process. She Hates taking her PJ's off. She Hates going potty. She Hates putting pants on, her shirt, socks,'s endless. She started getting really rowdy and hitting me, so instead of trying my old standard "Supernanny-Approved Time Out" and decided to try a new technique - really hitting her where it hurts - her toys. I told her I would take a toy away every time she hit. The first time it was her precious baby doll crib. "NO! Not the crib. Where are you taking it?!" I hid it away in the office where she couldn't get it. Claire smartly retaliated by, well hitting me again. Away goes the baby stroller. (See ya piece of plastic crap I've been wanting to get rid of anyway). Claire sees Mama means business and follows me downstairs and starts to calm down. But before we can get out the door she slaps me in a fit of pop-tart deprivation. "Bye-Bye Dora Backpack". Claire LOST IT. I mean, Meryl Streep would have been jealous. There was flailing, kicking, new disciplinary technique must be working! :)

I have to physically chase her through the snow-filled front yard and wrangle her into the car seat. She was bawling and bemoaning the loss of her toys. She howled to call Nana on the phone. I needed a witness, so I was happy to accomodate. We called my mom on my cell phone and I put the call on speaker.

CLAIRE: "Waaaahhhhhh. Nannnaa Mama mumble took toys mumble put 'em in the offish. uuuuuuhhhhhhhhh!"

NANA: "Oh honey, Liz what is she saying?"
ELIZABETH: "Mama put her toys in the office because she was h-i-t-t-i-n-g me."
NANA: "Oh honey, what did you do to make Mama take your toys away?
CLAIRE: "I dunno. It's not fayo. hmph!"
NANA: "Mama loves you, don't be upset. Put a little sunshine in your day today."
*Claire looks outside to the overcast sky outside the car window*
CLAIRE: "There's no sun Nana."
*We drive past Lone Elk Park, where we sometimes see deer in the forest*
CLAIRE: "I don't see lions, or tigers or elephants or nothing! irreverant mumbling
ELIZABETH Hysterically Laughs until a little pee comes out!
ELIZABETH "Mom - did you hear that? We're driving past that park off Highway 44 and she doesn't see lions or tigers or elephants or nothing!"
CLAIRE: "...or monkeys or cows or nothing. It's not fayo."

No comments:

Post a Comment