Trying to figure it out.

I went crazy for several minutes this morning and signed up for a diet bet via Courtney from Journey of a Dreamer. $20, 4 weeks, 4% body weight loss. Over $6,000 is in the pot and EVERYone that reaches their goals split it. Cool idea. The thing is. I had to get on a scale and weigh myself for the first time since over the summer. Another 7 lbs have crept on and I'm now officially heavier than I've ever been in my whole entire life. It's really, really depressing. I need to get a handle on it. I know what I need to do, I just haven't wanted to do it. My friend Casey says "You don't have to want to do it. Just do it. " that's hard for me to grasp bc I'm in a field where I'm encouraging people to do what feels good all the time. It feels, weird, to do something that doesn't feel right. I'm a therapist and I could go on and on analyzing myself so ill spare you the details. But I need to figure this shit out.

I walked in the treadmill for an hour tonight while watching tv. That's a start.